


Team Crazy: I MEAN SEVEN!

by Nerdzone6



Category: Naruto
Genre: Dark Comedy, F/M, Father-Son Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:49:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28492668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerdzone6/pseuds/Nerdzone6
Summary: Meet Team Seven: Konoha's craziest team consisting of one cute but psycho genius blonde boy, an emo revenge-seeking boy, and a weak but psychotic fan girl. Oh, and their sensei is one of the world's deadliest assassins. Naruto has a personality between Minato and young Gaara, and Kakashi is his adopted dad.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 3
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Team Crazy: I Mean Seven!

Prologue

Hatake Kakashi was tired, he had just come off a twenty-four-hour guard shift, and all he wanted to do was go home and fall into bed. He was about to do just that when he received an urgent summons from the Hokage to meet him at the hospital. Henceforth why he was now walking down the hall of the hospital towards the Hokage private sweet.

Vaguely he wondered if something had happened to the old man but dismissed the thought; he had just gotten off guard duty ten-minutes ago, there was no way something could have happened in just a short time. Something had happened though because he wouldn't be walking down the halls of the hospital if it hadn't, but what?

The Third Hokage was waiting for him by the door of the sweet, Kakashi bowed in respect, "Hokage Sama, what can I do for you," he said.

The Third Hokage looked at the young Anbu captain with a serious expression, "I apologize for bothering you Kakashi, I know you're just getting off guard duty; however, something has happened and you're the only one I trust to handle it," he said.

Kakashi looked at his Hokage, "Whatever it is Hokage Same, you can trust me," he said, saluting the old Kage.

The Third smiled at him, "I'm glad you said that Kakashi, it gives an old man like me reassurance. I've summoned you here because I have a favor to ask you," he said. Kakashi straightened a little, "What is it," he asked.

The old Hokage sighed, "I want you to adopt Uzumaki Naruto," he said.

Kakashi stiffened at the mention of his late sensei's child. He had only met the boy once when he was a baby, but hadn't thought of him in ages; so why was the Hokage wanting him to adopt the boy now? He looked at the Hokage, "May I ask you why," he asked?

The Hokage sighed, "The boy was attacked tonight. I don't need to tell you why," he said.

The Anbu captain winced. Uzumaki Naruto was the jinchuriki of the Kyubi no Kitsune, the nine-tailed demon fox that had attacked the village three years ago. The young boy was just the jailer, but to the villagers who had lost loved ones, they saw him as their punching bag.

Kakashi nodded, "Yes, but why do you want me to adopt him now? He's been attacked before," he said.

The Hokage sighed again, "I'm not sure what happened, but this time the boy fought back, and he killed three villagers," he said.

Kakashi's jaw dropped; he had not been expecting that, "Excuse me Hokage Sama, but did you say he killed three people," he said.

he aged Hokage nodded, "Yes, and injured five others. I'm sorry Kakashi, I truly believed the villagers could see past their hatred, obviously I was wrong. I can't allow Naruto kun to suffer any longer," he said.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, "Okay, but why me," he asked?

The Hokage looked at him sternly, "I choose you because of your connection with the boy's parents, besides the villagers wouldn't dare be foolish enough to attack him if he's under your care," he said.

Kakashi nodded seeing the logic in those words, still, he felt there was something else the old man wasn't telling him, "Alright Hokage Sama, I'll adopt him but is there anything else I should know," he asked?

The Hokage winced, "Yes actually. The other reason I want you to take the boy is that I'm worried about his mental health," he said.

Kakashi blinked surprised by the Hokage's words, he wasn't expecting that. The Anbu captain looked at the aged Hokage waiting for him to continue. The Third sighed, "Naruto despite the fact that he was attacked and made his first kill, seems to be doing okay; however, I'm worried that this might leave a lasting effect on the boy," he said.

Kakashi tilted his head, "How so," he asked?

The Hokage looked down, "I'm worried about how calm he's taking this, as a matter of fact, he's acting like he didn't just kill someone. That's not normal Kakashi, even you were a little upset after your first," he said.

Kakashi nodded remembering, "You're right that is a little concerning, alright I'll keep an eye on him," he said.

The Hokage smiled, "I knew you would," he said.

Kakashi shrugged, "Um Hokage Sama, is there any way I can meet him," he asked?

The Hokage nodded, "Yes right this way Kakashi kun," he said, knocking on the door behind him.

"Come in," a young voice said.

The Hokage opened the door and Kakashi followed him inside closing the door behind him. Entering the room he saw a small boy sitting up in the hospital bed reading a book. The boy was small and was obviously malnourished and looked a little beat up but was otherwise okay.

Naruto seeing it was the Hokage smiled at him, "Hello Hokage Sama! What brings you here," he said.

Kakashi looked at the boy with interest, "What a polite child. Only just met him and he reminds me of sensei," he thought.

The Hokage smiled at the boy, "Aww Naruto kun, I see you're doing alright. When I heard you had been attacked, I got here as fast as I could," he said. The boy shrugged, "It was nothing Hokage Sama, nothing I couldn't handle," he said.

Kakashi stiffened taken back by the boy's nonchalant behavior, he hoped there was a logical explanation for this. Maybe his mind had blocked out the incident? The Hokage chuckled, "Well Naruto kun, I was wondering if you could tell us what happened," he asked?

Naruto sighed, "Same oh, Same oh I guess. I was out walking and got jumped," he said.

Kakashi interjected then, "Excuse me, but why were you out walking the streets at such a late time," he asked. Naruto jumped and looked over at Kakashi in surprise as he just now noticed him, "Well shinobi san, the orphanage kicked me out," he said.

Kakashi's eye twitched deciding he would be paying the orphanage a visit later, he was pulled from his thoughts by the Hokage asking Naruto if he was okay.

The Anbu captain watched as Naruto tilted his head in confusion, "Why wouldn't I be okay, Hokage Sama," he asked?

The two shinobi looked at the boy sternly and the Hokage spoke, "Well Naruto Kun, I heard you took the life of some of your attackers, can you tell us why," he asked.

Naruto's eyes darkened, "I did kill them, but they were going to kill me. The man even said the D-word," he said.

The two shinobi stiffened thinking the D-word meant demon. The Hokage looked at the boy sadly, "What's the D-word, Naruto kun," he asked.

Naruto looked down, "Die. The man told me to die, but Hokage Sama I didn't want to die," he said.

Kakashi winced but was relieved the man hadn't broken the law and the Hokage sighed in relief, "Well I'm sorry you went through that Naruto kun, and to show you just how sorry I am, I've found someone to take care of you," he said.

The boy looked at the Hokage curiously, "Oh who Hokage Sama," he asked?

Kakashi stepped forward then, "That would be me," he said.

Naruto looked at him again, "Excuse my rudeness shinobi san, but who are you," he asked.

Kakashi eye smiled at him, "I'm Hatake Kakashi," he said.

Naruto's eyes widened, "My apologies Copy ninja san, I didn't realize it was you," he said.

Kakashi was again surprised; the boy knew who he was, interesting. The copy ninja eye smiled at him, "No worries Naruto kun," he said.

Naruto smiled at him, "I look forward to being in your care," he said before yawning.

The Hokage smiled, "It looks like you're tired, Kakashi and I will leave you to rest. You will be discharged tomorrow into Kakashi's care, so you two can get acquainted then," he said. Naruto nodded, "Goodnight then Hokage Sama, Kakashi san," he said.

The two shinobi left the room leaving Naruto to rest, and Kakashi realized that his life was about to get interesting.

Author's note: I hope everyone enjoyed the first chapter of Team Crazy: I MEAN SEVEN! In this story, Naruto will have a personality mix between Minato and Gaara. Happy new years.


	2. Naruto and Kakashi

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Naruto and Kakashi:

Naruto:

Naruto watched his new caregiver curiously. When the Hokage had said he would make the villagers leave him alone, he hadn't expected that meant he was getting a guardian and not just any guardian, The Copy Cat of the Leaf. Kakashi Hatake.

If he was being honest with himself, he wasn't sure how he felt about that. Now don't get him wrong, he respected Hatake for his achievements as a shinobi and his contributions to the village. The problem was that he wasn't sure he trusted him not to hate him.

He was not one to judge without cause and so far Hatake had done nothing questionable, so until he did he would give the man the benefit of the doubt. It gave him some reassurance that the Third knew that he was with the copy ninja, so if he disappeared the Hokage would know whom to look at.

As he looked around his new living quarters, he couldn't help but admire the size of it. It was double the size of his room at the orphanage which had just been a broom closet. His very own room, wow, the thought was exciting. Now he had space for a bookcase and maybe even a writing/ reading desk.

If Kakashi let him that is, he couldn't forget about Hatake. Hmm, maybe he could use this to test the copy ninja? Yes, that would work. He smiled, it was time to test Hatake's worth.

Kakashi:

Kakashi watched his new charge cautiously. To be honest, he was still in shock that the Hokage had appointed him as Naruto's new caregiver, but it also relieved him. As Naruto's guardian, he could now keep watch over the boy just as sensei would have wanted him to.

He was still nervous though as he watched the boy look around his new room; he hadn't even been here an hour and Kakashi could see the wheel's turning in the boy's head. It was in his gestures, which were so much like Minato sensei's it wasn't funny.

It would appear Naruto had inherited his father's intelligence, it made him wonder if he had inherited his talent in the ninja arts as well. He made a mental note to test the boy later after he had built some trust between them.

If the boy was as intelligent as Minato had been, then the boy trusted him right off the bat would not happen, especially after what he'd been through. Kakashi wondered if there was something he could do to show the boy he would not attack him.

Naruto's sudden approach pulled him from his thoughts; trying to be nice and not show his discomfort, he gave the boy an eye smile, "So how do you like your room, I hope it's not to small for you." he said.

The boy smiled shyly at him, "The room is just fine Kakashi san compared to my old room at the orphanage, it's quite large," he said. Kakashi sighed in relief, "I'm glad to hear that Naruto kun, if there is anything you want or need please don't hesitate to ask me," he said.

Naruto tilted his head, "Well Kakashi san, there is something I wanted to ask you for," he said. The copy ninja looked at him curiously, "Oh? What's that?" he asked. The blonde smiled, "I was wondering if I might be able to have a bookcase and a writing desk," he said.

The copy ninja blinked surprised by the request but quickly covered it by eye smiling, "Sensei loved to read and write too, so it's no surprise Naruto kun would be just like him." Kakashi thought. "I don't see why not, we can go shopping tomorrow," he said.

Naruto gave a quick bow, "Thank you, Kakashi san," he said. The copy ninja nodded while glancing over at the clock. It surprised him to see how late it was. "My, My, My, Naruto kun, why don't we go get supper?" he said.

The boy smiled, "Sounds good to me Kakashi san, what do you have in mind?" he asked. Kakashi smiled, maybe having a charge wouldn't be so bad.

Naruto:

Naruto smirked to himself as he followed Kakashi to get supper. Maybe having Kakashi as a guardian wouldn't be so bad after all.

Author's note: So here's chapter two of Team Crazy: I MEAN SEVEN! I know it's not much but I'm still trying to figure out how to set up the story. I hope you guys enjoyed it anyway, Thank you, Nerdzone6.


	3. Discovering His Dark Side

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Seeing His Darkside:

The next day Kakashi kept his word to Naruto and took him shopping. Kakashi wasn't expecting any problems since he was around and he didn't think anyone was dumb enough to attack the boy in front of him; he was partially right, however, he soon learned that despite his presence that didn't stop the villagers from insulting the child.

At first, he didn't notice it but as the day progress, he started picking up on the whispering. It started at the diner he took them for breakfast; he noticed that Naruto's shoulders tensed up, and he hesitated to walk inside. Kakashi looked at his charge encouragingly, "It's alright, no one will bother you while I'm here." he said.

Naruto smiled at him shyly before stepping inside; the owner of the diner mustn't have noticed Kakashi right away because right as he was stepping inside, he saw the old man about to shout; however, the moment he saw the copy ninja he wisely shut up. Kakashi eyed the man, "Is there going to be a problem, Sir?" he asked. The man blushed, "No sir," he said. Kakashi eye smiled, "Good because I would hate to have to report you to the Hokage." he said.

The man blushed before hurrying to take their orders after that, the two got their food and ate in peace. After the two finished with their meal, the pair headed towards the shopping district; Kakashi hardly ever visited this area of the village, preferring to do his business in the shinobi district, not including the bookstore he often frequented. Since what Naruto wanted was a desk, he didn't have a choice but to go there.

Speaking of the shinobi district, he needed to stop by there after this and pick Naruto out some clothes. He had learned from the Hokage that the boy wanted to become a shinobi and would be starting the Academy next fall. So that naturally meant the boy would need some training clothes.

On their way to the furniture store, Kakashi's sensitive ears picked up on the villagers whispering. Looking around, he noticed they all were staring at Naruto. Naruto for his part was doing his best to ignore them, but Kakashi could tell from his body language that it was making him uneasy. A surge of irritation went through him and he sent some killing intent in their direction, that shut them up.

Eventually, the pair made it to the furniture shop. Kakashi noticed Naruto waited for him to go first. If Naruto was a normal child, he would assume he did this to let Kakashi his elder go first, but he suspected it was more of a safety issue instead of out of respect. Kakashi stepped inside and was immediately greeted by an overly cheery sales clerk; however, the moment the woman saw Naruto walk in, her face changed to one of disgust. "Excuse me, sir, I'll be right with you," she said.

Kakashi suspected what she was about to do intervened, "No it's alright, the boy is with me." he said. The clerk's face changed to one of surprise, "Oh well then excuse me then, what can I help you with?" she asked. Kakashi eye smiled, "We're looking for a writing desk and a bookshelf. Got any of those?" he asked.

The clerk smiled tightly, "Yes, right this way." she said, leading the pair towards the back where they found a large selection of desk and bookshelves. "Can I help you with anything else?" she asked. Kakashi glanced at her, "Nope, I think we can handle it from here." he said. The clerk nodded before scampering off to help other customers that were trying not to openly glare at the boy.

When she was gone Kakashi turned and looked at Naruto, "So see anything you like?" he asked, pretending that there wasn't a bubble of hostility surrounding them. The boy smiled, "I like that brown desk in the back, it's just what I had in mind." he said. The Copy ninja walked over to it and was surprised to see how relatively inexpensive it was; only two hundred yen, a bargain; he turned to give Naruto a thumbs up but found the boy had wandered off towards the bookcases.

As Naruto was staring at the bookshelves, the store's manager came out; like the owner of the diner before him he didn't see Kakashi right away, but he did see Naruto. Anger flared through the man and he marched over to the boy, "What the hell are you doing in my store?" he demanded.

Naruto stared at him dumbfounded, unsure of what to say. The man already annoyed at seeing the demon brat in his store reached for his arm but froze when a wave of killing intent hit him in full force. "What do you think you're doing to my charge?" a menacing voice came from behind him. Turning around slowly, the man nearly shat himself when he saw Kakashi standing there looking like he was ready to kill him.

The man began to stutter, "I, I was just asking him what he was doing in my store alone." he said. Kakashi eyed the man, "Oh really? Do you talk to all children who enter your store alone like that because if you do, I might need to inform the Hokage about your unsightly behavior. " he said.

The man began to sweat, "Now, Now there's no need for that. Right young man?" he said, turning to face Naruto. Naruto being the mature child that he was, smiled at the man, "No it's alright, really Kakashi san." he said. Kakashi quirked an eyebrow at the boy, "You sure kiddo?" he asked.

Naruto smiled at his guardian, "I'm sure, you know I can get a bookcase some other day. Let's get the desk and get out of here." he said. Kakashi nodded and turned to go get the sales clerk, Naruto following behind him. Now, this might have been the end of this incident, but the manager just had to open his mouth. Muttering under his breath he whispered, "Why don't you just die demon." he said.

Kakashi came to a screeching halt and Naruto froze in place. The Copy slowly turned around and gave the man a death stare; however, his attention was quickly turned to his charge who was frozen in place. "Naruto, are you alright?" he asked.

The boy didn't answer him, he just stood perfectly still for a moment with his bangs covering his eyes, and then it happened. It was like a trigger had been flipped. Naruto moved at lightning speed and got behind the man, "What did you say?" he whispered in the man's ear.

Sweat ran down the man's forehead, "I, I, I said have a nice day." he said. Naruto's mood seemed to clear up, "That's what I thought you said. A little word of advice sir, watch what you say or it may bite you later." he said, with a tight smile on his face before he turned and walked ahead of Kakashi.

Kakashi watched him go thinking one thing, "Shit!"

Author's note: So here's chapter three of Team Crazy, I mean Seven! I hope you enjoyed it. As always thank you for reading, Nerdzone6.


	4. I didn't see that coming

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

I didn't see that coming:

Kakashi followed behind his young charge watching him like a hawk; the boy's sudden change in mood unnerved him. Three almost four-year-olds weren't supposed to act like that; of course, he didn't have much room to talk considering he could take down shinobi twice his size when he was Naruto's age, but still the mood change was concerning.

It looked like he was going to have to visit the Hokage and have a talk with him about Naruto, and things had been going so well too. Hopefully, the aged Kage could give him some advice on what to do, he wanted nothing to happen to the boy and truthfully the man had deserved it but if Naruto was going to be a shinobi; he had to be able to keep his emotions under wraps.

Maybe he should try talking to him first before going to the Hokage, at least so he could see what the problem was. Obviously, the man had said something specific that had triggered the small boy into reacting, but what? He hadn't been paying close attention to what the man was saying, so he hadn't picked up on it, but whatever it was had sent Naruto into a spiral. The boy had been attacked recently so that might have had something to do with it; if that was the case then he was going to have his hands full.

Kakashi shook these thoughts away as he approached the check-out counter. The young sales associate from before was standing behind the counter, she gave the pair a nervous smile; she had seen the boy's reaction to whatever it was her boss had said, and it had freaked her out. The Copy ninja gave her an eye smile, "We'll take that brown desk in the back," he said.

The clerk nodded, "Okay, and where would you like it delivered too?" she asked. Kakashi gave her his address and paid for the desk and then they left. Kakashi looked at Naruto, "So where too next kiddo?" he asked. Naruto looked shyly at his guardian, "How about the bookstore?" he asked.

Kakashi's eyes lit up, "You can read already?" he asked.

Naruto's eyes lit up in excitement, "Yep, I just started at the beginning of this year so I'm not very good," he said. Kakashi nodded, "Well that's okay, practice makes perfect." he said. The boy smiled.

The pair made it there quickly and separated to go to different sections of the store. Kakashi went to the adult literature section (if you know what I mean). The Copy ninja browsed the selection for a few minutes, checking to see if a certain pervert had released anything new. Sadly he hadn't and Kakashi lost interest and decided to go find his charge.

He hoped no one had given the boy trouble or thrown him out while he'd been distracted. It took him a few minutes but he finally found his charge and in the most surprising section. "The classics?" Kakashi thought to himself in surprise.

Kakashi walked over to Naruto, who was currently looking over a copy of "The Tale of Genji," and cleared his throat to catch his attention. The boy looked at his guardian, "Is something wrong Kakashi san?" he asked.

Kakashi shook his head, "No, I was just wondering why you're in this section Naruto kun? Didn't you just say you couldn't read very well?" he said. The boy tilted his head, "Yes, I did say that. I just can't figure out how else I'm supposed to get past an eighth-grade reading level without practicing." he said.

Kakashi balked at him, "You're reading at an eighth-grade reading level!" he said. Naruto nodded, looking sad for some reason, "Yes, it's such a shame I know, I should read at a twelfth-grade level." he said.

The Copy ninja nearly face-planted instead he pointed at the boy, "You're three years old and you're already reading at an eighth-grade reading level, and you're acting like that's a bad thing when your peers aren't even reading yet." he said in annoyance.

The boy looked confused, "So other's my age aren't reading yet?" he asked confused. Kakashi shook his head, "Nope." he said and then added mentally, "Except for maybe the Nara heir, but he's probably too lazy to try."

Naruto's eyes lit up, "Wow, and here I thought I was falling way behind." he said. Kakashi facepalmed, "Whatever gave you that idea?" he said. The boy's eyes darkened, "The lady at the orphanage said I was stupid." he said. The copy ninja wanted to strangle her.

Kakashi shook his head, "Well, get that idea out of your head because you're not." he said, "Here I'll buy you that book and another one of your choice." he said making Naruto smile. He ended up picking out "I am a cat II." and even though Kakashi wasn't thrilled by the title for obvious reason's he bought the boy his two books.

The pair then decided to take a break and go home as Kakashi saw the boy yawning. Remembering that the Hokage told him the boy was still taking naps decided that he could use that time to speak with the Hokage. He'd talk with the boy later.

The moment they got home, Naruto went to his room and fell asleep. Kakashi didn't waste time and shunshined to the Hokage's office. Hiruzen who had been busy doing paperwork was happy to see him, "Ah Kakashi what brings you here." he said.

Kakashi gave the Hokage a worried look, "Hokage Sama we have a problem," he said. Hiruzen looked at him concerned, "What?! Has something happened to Naruto kun?" he asked.

The Copy ninja shook his head, "Not exactly. You see, I took him shopping today and while we were at a furniture store, the manager said something to Naruto. I didn't hear what but whatever it was it set the boy off." he said.

The Third Hokage narrowed his eyes, "Set him off how?" he asked. Kakashi sighed, "The boy went from sunshine and roses to directing killer intent at the store manager, if he'd been a trained shinobi I'm sure the guy would be dead." he said.

Hiruzen took out his pipe and lit it, he was seriously getting too old for this shit. "Was anyone hurt?" he asked. Kakashi shook his head, "No, fortunately, but it's still worrying and something I felt you should be made aware of." he said.

The Third nodded, "You did the right thing, Kakashi. I think we should just observe him for now and when you get a chance talk with him about it, see if this is something we can work through." he said. The silver-haired shinobi nodded, "Hai, sir." he said.

Hiruzen smiled, "So is there anything else you need to tell me?" he asked. Kakashi nodded, "Did you know Naru can read at an eighth-grade level?"

"WHAT!"

Author's note: So here's chapter four of Team Crazy: I MEAN SEVEN! I hope you enjoy it and have a happy Valentine's day, sincerely Nerdzone6.


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